AUSSIE 9TH - 18TH MAY 2013
Never did i ever thought that my first trip with Joel will be now, like now when I am just at 19 years of age. Is really an amazing and loving time with him.
i remembered those times when I would be groaning so much when he was away from me , travelling with his friends. Leaving me with empty hopes and wishful thoughts, thinking that i could be magically and be miraculously transported to his side. And I recalled how I used to look up to the sky above me, comforting myself that I am near him because right till the end, we are still under the same sky.
Fast forward, here I am now, in Perth, with him besides me.
Having to enjoy this moment and experience is truly a gem, is definitely an unforgettable memory. Our first trip together and counting..
This trip uncovers some sides of Joel that I never thought he has.
Face it, I am that sort of girl that needs 24/7 attention and to be always taken care of at all times when placed in an unknown area. I get lost as easily as a hammy does. I mean i get lost even at a place i grew up for 12 years of my life. So what’s more when I am overseas yeah? So Joel has to be always at my side, holding me tight, keeping me within his sight to make sure that I am not lost.
I feel really safe and secured around him. He guides me throughout this whole trip. Taking care of me to the ultimate level of what tender loving care is all about. And I know and I feel truly loved by him.
I love looking into his face when he is figuring his ways through the GPS, knowing that I will never get lost when I am with him.
I love following his footsteps when he is leading me to a place that we may enjoy ourselves at.
I love holding his hands that are entwined with mine, giving me that sense of security I need to calm myself down in this unknown area with suspicious strangers around me.
I love the sense of being grabbed by him when I wondered around myself to a place that spells danger, like the roads, like the dubious people along the streets.
I love how he looks out for me so meticulously, so attentively.
I truly feel that I am the apple of his eyes.
I love this feeling.
And this, makes me love him even more.
Because this feeling makes me fall in love with him so helplessly.
And I am that kind of girl that loves to go to places that are of interest and are filled with activities. And when it comes to Perth, I am surely not going to miss out the opportunity to get close to the nature. However Joel aint that kind of person that will be spending money on such tours and shit. But because of me, he chooses to spend it, just to make me happy and contented. I am pampered like a babygirl.
We were shopping and I realised a habit of him, it is that he will be always on the search for girly items, from dresses to tights, sunglasses to bracelets, tops to bottoms, everything that you can think of for a girl like me, he will be on full gear to search it out for me. It’s never about him. He did not do a search for his own tops or bottoms, jackets or jeans, shades or slippers, but everything, for me. omg, he is just too sweet.
Love, it can never be described. Cause is so deep that the number of words in the world could never reach. Cause is so wide that lengths after lengths of sentences could never justify. Cause is just too magnificent that words could never match up to the level of it.
And I thank God for loving him, because Joel is using His love to love me. and this is what love is supposed to be, meant to be.
Love oh love,
Your depths, I am truly grateful for it.
AUSSIE LAND!
OH EM GEE!
I am finally on a holiday with my boyfriend! 10 days in Perth! Just really want to thank God for this blessed trip He gave us, He made it for us, He first blessed us with, to enjoy. And definitely my parents that made this all happened.
Currently staying with his homie, and is really cozy in here. haha! freaking hell, we are all sharing a bed together. Skinny asses are us.
Went to the SUPREMEGARDEN and FREMANTLE in perth yesterday. The weather is freezing up in here. My nips are harden most of the time, ass shrinking in size, muscles tensed. LOL. Was just enjoying myself with Joel and thanking God for all these memories He led us to create and share together.
I believe if this holiday is already so blessed, our honeymoon shall be even better, 100x better i proclaim in Jesus’s name! :)
Status: Freezing; Tits harden, Ass tighten,.
how is this sounding? teehee
Please produce me a single tone, a single note of negativity on this.
I hope she is alright now.
Small sized body of hers,
Frail as it may seem.
Loving heart in her soul,
Living for Him and him.
Dear heart of hers,
Crumbled and broken,
Pain stricken and weary,
Strengthen still to love
Love oh love,
Stand in awe of you,
Filled in pain because of you,
Drawing joy from you,
Love oh love, tell me what and who are you.
This feels worst than any other thing. Cause she finally saw it with her own eyes. She doesn’t deserve the past to be revealed so explicitly in her face.
She is so filled w love, why, why is she suffering from all this? Such an angel at heart, she doesn’t need this filth to befall on her pure white wings that was once broken.
Shouldn’t have ask for the opening of that pandora box.
I just didn’t expect her to witness it herself, to see it, to hear it, to have it all in her face, to expose it, to let her go through another episode of waves after waves of turmoil.
I bet she is reconsolidating all the past, picturing it tgt once again. Asking those same old questions again. Thinking about it once again. Questions that she thought had answered, pain that she thought she had went through enough, sadness that she thought was deep enough, and all perplexed heartfelts that she thought was awful enough, she thought it was all over after that day.
Once in a while she thought of the past, but I reassured her that everything will be fine and God is in control.
Why the fuck did I let her see the past again? Why the hell did the past had its evil rear head coming back to her? Why did all the past evidence and acts have to be shown to her? She bought a ticket to expect a nice normal movie but I screwed up the whole damn thing to play a video of the past right on a big screen for her.
Not one time, not two time, I literally replayed it continuously. That is sick.
To hear it, to see it, to feel the pain fresh and raw again. What the fuck did I do to her?
Those words which she never thought she will hear, those actions which she thought was just all in her imagination, came right through, pouring into her, justifying her imagination.
They enjoyed while she suffered.
They had their time while she had her worst
They were high while she was there at her lowest.
Why? I just have got to have it all resurface. I just have got to let it all in her eyes.
She trembled, she wobbled, she crippled, physically and mentally, couldn’t contain the fact, overwhelmed.
Can’t blame her, it was a tsunami attack. I can’t blame her on anything. I’m just going to let her do her thing. Even if it means to have her hurt herself and numb her feelings till she feels alright again.
When,
Caring too much becomes possessive
Loving too much becomes annoyance
Concerning too much becomes interrogative.
Being “yourself” too much becomes ugly
Repeating too much of the same act you once thought it was adored becomes nuisance
And maybe being around me becomes draining.
Life just had me all fucked up.
The older I grow, the older I learn not to expect others to understand what I feel. Cause really, no one gives a shit.
And crap that “accept for whoever you are” shit, if they don’t like that certain time of behaviour of yours, which means no harm, they say it right in your face, straight in your heart and just enough to crush your soul.
And just when you think things are going okay, someone will just fuck it up and say that they’re drained or whatever it is.
This world is just fucked. Kind of force not to give a shit or two now.
Everywhere I go, people instantly deemed me to be in my mid 20s. So the first template question they asked would always be, are you attached? And my answer will be yes.
And then they will go on by asking when I’m planning to settle down with him, and I would CONFIDENTLY reply, 3 years.
Cause that’s what he told pastor as leaders. So I did the same.
Today, I encountered the same situation, the same scenario, the same questions. But the answers were different. I told them I am attached and WEAKLY replied them that I’m not sure when will I be married.
Finances and whatever not. Oh wells, time will take its course.
Is good anyway, self, enjoy my adolescence, enjoy whatever im suppose to enjoy. I told myself.
